When times get tough

We live frugally all the time, not just because I believe it is important to be a good steward of what you have, but because we just don't have a lot. We are making ends meet by living without things that others consider necessities, but I think are luxuries, like cell phones and cable tv. We had a small savings, and then the worst thing that can happen when you are close to the edge happened.... the unexpected!! First it was a car repair, then an unexpected doctor bill, then losing glasses in the ocean and having to replace them, and then yet another car repair. Somewhere between unexpected thing #2 and #3 we exhausted our savings... and of course the unexpected keeps coming. I have had a hard time sitting down to write anything on here as I knew I wanted to write about dealing when you can't figure out what to do, but I really wasn't sure what I was going to do, which did not leave me much to write about. Here is what I am doing so far.
First we prayed, and thank God for what we actually do have and ask for his help in our trying time.
Take stock in what I have, in our case a stocked freezer and some one who can cook, meaning at least there is one thing less to worry about.
Prioritize, Prioritize, prioritize... what can wait till next week will just have to wait.
Remember that this is temporary and things will turn around.
Lastly and this is a big one for me, don't worry. It does no good when I am in the thick of something, especially something we can't easily change to worry. It takes my mind off my family, off any happiness I may have and keeps me from not being present in my own life. Those are all things I can't get back once the time has passed.
What do you do when times get tough for your family?

Frugal finds

This is the time for spring consignment sales. This year we are lucky and don't need much for our daughter, but I like to check them out none the less. Here most of the consignment sales have half price Saturday. All the consignors tag items differently that they want to be tagged as half off and I have found some pretty tremendous deals. My general rule is that I will not spend more than $1 on a piece of clothing for everyday wear, and no more than $3 on something for church wear for my daughter, and often I can find things less than that. These are not cheap articles of clothing either, they are name brands that hold up well. In our house I have found that Gymboree, Children's Place and Okie Dokie hold up the best for the kind of abuse my child gives to them and they fit the longest. (I have no connection to those companies, that is just my opinion.) They also are stitched well so the seams hold up well, as I find it annoying to spend even a little on clothing that falls apart when I wash it for the first or second time. 

The toys and books, I set a limit before I walk in the door for what she can have, either by price or by number of items and price. Here are two of the deals that we got at 1/2 price day at one of the local consignment shops.  

The cloth book has sounds on each page so she can "read" it by herself, and is washable it was 75 cents.

The Elmo basket she loves to carry around the living room with her toys in it and I think we may use it for the egg hunt on Easter, it was 50 cents. 

Next a local library has their Friends of the library sale and I went last weekend. They sell discards from the library and donations from local people. The children's books were 50 cents for the board books, $1 for the paper backs and $1.50 for the hard backs. All other books were $1.50 for the paperback and $3.00 for the hard backs. They had the entire basement of the building categorized and nicely laid out. 

The Grimm's Complete Fairy Tales is an older edition with 20's style cover art, and will go nicely with my homeschooling. It was $1.50 as it is a children's book, the only damage it had was a small rip in the book jacket at the top on the spine. 

The next find I was SUPER excited about. (I am sorry for the blurriness, our camera decided it did not want to focus)  If you have not read these books you should. This is the compilation of newsletters written in the 90s about frugality in all forms. The newsletter was called the Tightwad Gazette. These two books were private donations to the sale, and looked like they had never been opened. They cost me $3 each. 

Lastly, there are some beautiful forsythia bushes in bloom in our neighborhood and I was able to get some blossoms for out table for free! It is always nice to bring some of the springtime inside. 

Being frugal when no one around you is

I find it hard when I am with friends and extended family sometimes as their spending habits are different than mine in so many ways. A lot of the people I know choose to spend first on a whim and then regret it later. Or alternately, they just have a much higher fun money budget than I do and blowing money on something seems like no big deal to them. It is hard for them to understand that we just don't want to drop $35 on a movie and snacks for the two of us when that money could be used so much more wisely in other places.
Here are some things I have tried to remember and tips I have tried to use when being around people who do not have frugal attitudes.
1- Remember being frugal is not for everyone. Saving money I see as an integral part to my job in the home. I spend time each week looking for the best deals and how to get the most out of what we have, but not everyone wants to do that, or feels they don't have the time.
2- Telling the truth sometimes works wonders, but can be boring. For instance, just telling your family member or friend that the dinner out or whatever is not something that is in your budget that week.
3- If for whatever reason you don't feel comfortable telling them your budget ins and outs, you can almost always find a  kind and honest way to get out of whatever it is without hurting their feelings.
4- Reconsider your spending if necessary. If you realize you would really like to spend that $35 on the movie, go through in your head where that money can come from in your budget and go have fun. Just make it so you don't regret having spent the money.
5- Suggest something else that is free or lower cost. Have them over for dinner, have a park play day, etc.

In the hard times right now a lot of people are learning lower cost ways to have fun. The most important thing is how you connect with others, not if it is done over $5 lattes.

Cheap vs Frugal

I guess to some people cheap and frugal are the same thing, but at least to me there is a big difference. Cheap means always searching out the lowest price, over all else. Frugal means learning to shop wisely, so you know what things cost and what is of good quality. Spending money on a cheap piece of clothing just to have it fall apart in your washer on the first or second wash to me is pointless, and aggravating when you then have to find its replacement.
When I go shopping, I do look at the price, but I try to weigh that against the time spent to earn that money, whether I believe the item will help our lives in some way, and whether it will last if appropriately cared for. I also try not to buy something the first time I think I need it to avoid impulse buying, I try to wait a week to make sure it is something I really want to spend money on. There are plenty of guides for the best time of year to buy big ticket items, here is a listing on an article with MSN http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/SaveMoney/TheBestTimeToBuyAnything.aspx
In general though it comes down to appropriate planning and taking care of what you already have. My husband is a godsend because he really understands electronics, plumbing, cars, and can do our home repairs, but if no one in your family can, there are FREE clinics offered regularly through Lowe's and Home Depot to help with home repairs. If you do need to hire some one to work on your home or car, please get a personal recommendation, or at least call the Better Business Bureau before giving your money to a repair company you know nothing about.