Mommy Redirection

I have one little girl who is 2. Everyday we fight the battle of the wills of who gets to decide what we are doing and when. I set boundaries and rules and she tries to break them, not because she is bad or malicious, but because her job is to test boundaries and my job is to set them. When we reach a behavior issue that needs attention I try to determine a few things before acting.

1- Is this really worth it? If all she really wants is to wear the clothes she picked out that don't match at all, then No, the ensuing tantrum is not worth it. Clothes that don't match never hurt anyone. However if it is something like not wanting to brush her teeth, or hitting some one then Yes it must be dealt with now. 

2- Am I angry? If I am angry I need to take a moment to calm myself before approaching her. Discipline through anger teaches her fear, not correct behavior. Mommy time outs are a good place to go from here, before disciplining her. 

3-Is this really not a discipline lesson, but a power struggle? If I feel myself about to say "Because I told you so." or truly getting aggravated over the choice of mismatched clothes, it is probably a power struggle.

Redirection is a common discipline technique with little kids... "No you may not play with the blinds or jump on the couch, but you may play with your blocks or jump outside or on the floor." I think perhaps it is also a good idea to redirect my energy as mom when things come up. Since I am in need of reminding sometimes, I wrote a list to help me redirect.

Things I would rather do than engage in a power struggle with my child:

Pray

Read the Bible 

Read another book

Breathe deep 10 times 

Give a bear hug 

Sing a silly song 

Exercise

Go on a walk

Eat a cookie

Get a box of stuff ready to donate 

Dance to the radio 

Look at my garden

Make a gift for some one else

Drink hot tea

Go somewhere else - the park, the museum 

Take a relaxing shower

What redirection techniques do you use for you? 

Menu Plan

Menu Plan for 9 days

Breakfast

Cereal x5

French Toast and apples

Egg, Bacon and Potato casserole

Muffins – probably strawberry, but I need to go pick them, so if not then applesauce

Oatmeal with dry fruit and pecans

Lunch

Leftovers x4

Grilled cheese sandwiches and sweet potato wedges

Vegetable soup

Beans and Rice

Salmon patties and peas

Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches and carrot sticks

Dinner

Sloppy joes from chicken, with onion and pepper and lima beans

Tilapia in Italian dressing, green beans with almonds

Split pea soup and rolls

Country style deer steak with gravy, black eyed peas and mashed potatoes

Tuna Casserole

Chicken and black bean Chili (with hidden veggies)

Roasted whole chicken, Corn, Green beans

Vegetable fried rice with brown rice

Chicken Alfredo pasta (from leftover roast chicken) and peas

Helping each other

When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. Exodus 17:12


This is from a battle in which the Israelites were winning if Moses kept his hands up, but if he grew tired and lowered them the Israelites began to lose. He needed Aaron and Hur to help him, the give him rest when he could not take one himself. 
Sometimes in our church body or our family we don't realize that others need us to help hold up their hands. We get wrapped up in whatever we are doing and do not see that our leaders, or our loved ones need a rest. I know also sometimes we do not feel as though we can go on one minute longer. We are the ones that need a rest. 
I hope that I can strive to be the holder of hands when it is needed. 

Dear Lord, 
Today I pray that I can be there when needed to hold another's hand. That I can look outside myself to where I can be most useful to you, and that my hands can be your hands. Please help me know when I am needed and if I need to rest let me know when and how.
In your name I pray, 
Amen

Frugal Food- Southwest Chicken Enchilada casserole

This recipe is one I concocted from a few other recipes and a desire to get the same depth of flavor in less time.
It serves 6 -8 depending on how big you make your enchiladas.
You will need
2 cups shredded chicken
1 jar (16 oz) prepared salsa (or an equal amount fresh salsa)
1 package whole wheat tortilla wraps -8 inch size (or two packs if you prefer smaller enchiladas)
1 can drained rinsed black beans
1 cup frozen corn
8 oz shredded cheese (Monterey Jack or Cheddar work well)
Chili Powder to taste
Onion Powder to taste
Cayenne pepper if desired

Place your shredded chicken in a large pot with the salsa, corn and beans. Add your spices- I used 1 Tbsp chili powder, 1 tsp onion powder and a pinch of cayenne, but your spices will vary with your choice of salsa. Heat on medium heat for about thirty minutes warmed through and flavors have melded together. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Now take a large bowl, and a strainer big enough to hold your chicken mixture. Place the strainer over the bowl and press the mixture from one side to the other in the strainer with enough pressure to drain excess liquid without squishing your beans. I have found a small wooden slotted spoon is easiest to work with. Get as much of the liquid out of the mixture as you can.
Lightly grease a 9 x 13 pyrex dish, and start making your enchiladas. Place 1-2 spoonfulls of mixture in the center of the tortilla and roll, place seam side down in the casserole dish. Repeat until your dish is full or you run out of mixture. You will have to scoot them to the side as you add them so they fit properly, they will lay on each other a bit.
Pour your sauce (the drained liquid) over the top of your enchiladas. Cover with the shredded cheese. Bake for 20 minutes covered with foil and if you desire remove the foil to brown your cheese for the last ten minutes. Let cool 5 minutes before serving.

I did not brown the cheese, but here is the finished product. My husband and child both really enjoyed it.  I hope you do as well!

Cost break down
The chicken was leftover from a whole roast chicken I made, and the whole chicken cost $4.78, the portion I used for this casserole was about 1/3 of that so $1.60
The salsa was $1.99 at Aldi
Beans $.59
Corn $.33 (about 1/3 of a bag of frozen corn at $.99) -Aldi
Tortilla wraps - $2.59 - Food Lion
Cheese $2.00 at Aldi

Total $9.10 or $1.52 a serving at 6 servings (this fed our family of 3 twice)

You can further cut costs by using flour tortillas or changing your meat option to something cheaper, but we are trying to eat more whole grains here so that is why the recipe calls for whole wheat. As for the meat, I would use a shredded meat and not ground, if you choose to switch that up. Shredded pork works nicely as well.

This is shared at Simple Homemaking link up through Raisingarrows.net (button on the sidebar).
This is also shared with Homemaking Link up at

Menu Plan

This is for 9 days as I am hoping to space out my shopping trips more. I don't assign days to the meals, just try and go through all the options in the given days.

Breakfast 

Cold Cereal and fruit x 5

Pineapple Pecan whole wheat muffins x2

Banana Pancakes with homemade applesauce and scrambled eggs 

Eggs with Ham and Cheese with biscuits

Drinks- Coffee, OJ, Milk 

Lunch

Leftovers x 5 

Tuna cakes, applesauce 

Quick home made mac and cheese with carrots 

Salsa eggs in a whole wheat tortilla 

Sandwiches and bananas

Dinner

Hamburger steak with gravy, mashed potatoes (with sneaky cauliflower), peas

Roasted chicken, lima beans and corn, green beans (Bonus- chicken broth made in crock pot over night to freeze) 

Meatloaf with hidden carrots, sweet potatoes 

Chicken (from the whole roast chicken) enchilada casserole with orange bell peppers and onion mixed in

Chicken (from the whole roast chicken) pot pie

Black bean soup with rolls 

Baked ravioli with hidden veggies in the sauce 

Seared blackened tilapia, with lima beans and rice 

Catfish nuggets with black eyed peas and homemade fries


This is shared at the homemaking link up at

  

Rising costs and simple living

Gas in our area is about $3.75 a gallon right now, and grocery prices this past week at the store were higher than I ever remember them being. This was a sharp jump in the last month or so, and we are really starting to feel the pinch. I have changed some of my spending habits and limits again. We own two vehicles, one of which is used for my husband to get back and forth to work, and the gas in that vehicle has gone up $25 a week (from $35 to $60), or $100 a month. That of course is a cost that can't be skipped as we need him to be able to get to work. Our local grocery store had coffee ( the 12 oz bricks) at $4.89, whereas two weeks ago that same brick cost $3.00. I used to be able to juggle with the sales and get produce for $1/pound in season, and meat for $1.50 and under a pound (sometimes much lower if there was a good sale), but even the sale prices were creeping around $3.00 a pound. Easily my $60 a week grocery budget has jumped to $80.
So what are we doing about it?
I have planted a container vegetable garden and we are also helping my father in law with his large vegetable garden, in exchange for produce. I was also given a canner that will get great use this year so we have that extra taken off the grocery bills in the winter months. I have found a local source for eggs, that are also family, and all they have asked in exchange is baked goods when I make them. We also plan to split a cow with another family come summer, and that should fill my chest freezer with meat, along with the hunting and fishing that the extended family does. I have also scaled back some on the amount of meat that goes in meat meals, and no one seems to notice a difference. We are eating healthier and better as I am pickier about what we spend those dollars on, and we are trying to purchase local if we can. I shop on the outside aisles of the grocery store( meaning the outer ring of dairy, produce, bread, meat) and leave all the convenience stuff to others. It definitely takes more time and planning, but we have found it is worth it.
As for the gas, we like a lot of Americans are finding things to do closer to home. We have several nice parks and local attractions that we are taking advantage of. I also combine as many errands as I can at one time, and we are really using the family memberships to museums or the like on too hot or too rainy days. I had no idea how many close free activities there were, and we have been having lots of fun finding them, and most of all it gives us quality time together to really make memories.

What are you doing to help with the rising costs of everyday life? Did you change to a more simple lifestyle when the prices started to rise, or were you like us and just readjusted what you were already doing a little? What tips do you have?

"I feel like I am not contributing"

I have a dear friend who lost her job and was out of work for some time before finding something new. She and I used to be quite a lot alike in that we had the same type of job, had the same type of spending habits, etc. That was before my husband and I decided that we would try to make it work on one income. I was trying to help her mood one day as she was having a hard time in her job search and she said "I feel like I am not contributing to the household when I am not working". It was innocent and truly how she felt, but it really struck a nerve with me as by default it made me think as though she thought I was not contributing to my own home.
I know that I contribute but I think our society has swung so far away from the idea of staying at home with children that it is not seen as a contribution to the home. Even if you don't want to weigh in the emotional factors of a child being primarily cared for in a home environment versus a day care, there are some real cost factors that often times just don't add up.
Here is a site that shows an online calculator for you to input the cost of working after putting a child in daycare, and all the associated costs of having an out of the home job.
Cost Calculator
 http://homeparents.about.com/library/weekly/blworkcalc.htm

I entered some data reflecting the costs I had associated with my last job and added in the cost of day care in my area and I would be netting about $2.50 and hour, assuming that my job covered the cost of health insurance as the last one did, if it did not I would net about $1.00 per hour. This net pay would go up over time as the daycare for a young child is much higher than daycare for an older child. It just does not seem worth it to me, and I believe with the right amount of budgeting you can make up for the difference of what you would be bringing into the home.
Here is a series of articles about staying at home and making it on one income.
The cost of working http://homeparents.about.com/cs/familyfinances/a/workcalc.htm
This decision is not easy, and is different for every woman and every family, but I hope that the articles listed above can help in your decision.