Thursday, February 10, 2011

Patience and control

I lack patience it has never been a virtue I had, and I am not sure one can develop it, but I am trying. I really don't like to wait things out, and I am not one of those enjoy the process people. I also like things to be a certain way and get upset when they cannot stay that way. I have no idea how I got this way, but everyday I pray for patience, and to some degree peace in what I cannot control, and the ability to realize what is worth trying to control.
This a verse that Friends (Quakers) use a lot to explain silent worship - "Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10 We have a period ( and at some meetings it is the whole service) during each service when we are all silent, we sit there and wait for God to speak to us.  Sometimes it is silent the whole time, people keep to themselves what they hear, or they use the time for silent meditation. Sometimes people have something prepared that they say, a prayer or a reading or some wisdom that they think the body of the church needs to hear. And inevitably if there is a baby in the congregation they will babble excitedly during this time.
I am trying very hard to learn to be still. I think the worship that happens in the Meeting house could also happen in my house, if I can just get the being still part down. I can simplify my life and try to do all the things that seem "right" but always trying to live for the next thing and plan and plan is tiring, and it takes away my ability to be in the moment. My hope is that through prayer, meditation and just learning to be still that I can learn patience.
Today I am going to make the conscious effort to try and be in the moment. Maybe I can learn patience one day at a time.

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